Solyndra is Back: Romney, Santorum Agree

Just kidding!  Happy April Fools 2012 :-)

Romney and Santorum Announce New Solyndra Deal

While the race to the Republican presidential nomination continues to bristle with confrontation and finger pointing, there is one thing both front-runners suddenly agree on:  the new economy will be powered by the sun, and it will happen sooner that we think. Both former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney and former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum are committed to re-opening the shuttered Solyndra solar panel manufacturing facility with new personal & government loans effective immediately.

Putting aside their differences, the pair made an enthusiastic joint announcement today in Fremont, CA, that sets the stage for re-opening the plant by July 4th, creating more than 5,000 jobs in the process and setting the stage for a new era in clean energy manufacturing for Americans.

The reopening will be spearheaded by personal loans of $15 million dollars from each of the candidates to Solyndra – enough to begin ramping up production of the company’s first new product in over a year: solar panels made from discarded “etch-a-sketch” tablets.

At this morning’s press conference Santorum made it known in biblical terms how important the deal was to his campaign:  “I spoke to God last night, and I believe he has made it very clear… that caring for our planet, his creation, is a priority that I share with all my fellow Americans.  At the end of the day, I’ve got nine trucks full of etch-a-sketches parked outside and not a clue what to do with them.   My opponent in this campaign may be a flop-flopping son of a gun, but we’re united on one front: To prove that the President is not capable of making solar panels out of used etch-a-sketches.  We are, and we’ll employ Americans to do it.”

Gov Romney added:   “Look, I know that I’ve had a differences with my opponent in this campaign, but if either of us stands a chance to oust this communist heathen from office, then we need to start putting solar energy first!  I’ll bet anyone in this room $10,000 that I can draw a picture of the San Francisco skyline on one of these etch-a-sketches faster than anyone else.  Come on!  $10,000, who’s in?”

Production begins tomorrow, April 2, with full employment at Solynda’s plant expected to kick off immediately following the November election.

Nick Aster is a new media architect and the founder of TriplePundit.com

TriplePundit.com has since grown to become one of the web's leading sources of news and ideas on how business can be used to make the world a better place.

Prior to TriplePundit Nick worked for Mother Jones magazine, successfully re-launching the magazine's online presence. He worked for TreeHugger.com, managing the technical side of the publication for 3 years and has also been an active consultant for individuals and companies entering the world of micro-publishing. He earned his stripes working for Gawker Media and Moreover Technologies in the early days of blogging.

Nick holds an MBA in sustainable management from the Presidio School of Management and graduated with a BA in History from Washington University in St. Louis.