Hot Alliance: Shell, Suntech and ICBC to Create “ShellSunergy”

April fool 2011 :-)

Reaching for the stars has new meaning today with the announcement of a blockbuster solar energy joint venture between Shell, Suntech Power Holdings and the Industrial and Commercial Bank of China.

While there are many permutations involved and details of the deal are limited, the bottom line is that the three parties are combining to create and then corner the market the on solar energy.

At a hastily-called press conference in Copenhagen, A. Prellfuel, Shell’s VP of Solar, spoke for his other partners: “We hereby claim the Sun and the energy it produces as the property of our new venture company, ShellSunergy.”

Chaos, disbelief and outrage filled the packed conference room as Prellfuel shouted above the din: “Yes, this is perfectly legal! Frankly my partners are surprised no one has ever claimed this valuable resource. Just because no has ever thought of doing something as bold as this does not mean it can’t be done.”

He explained that Shell “is now a true energy company. We are no longer in the oil business, in fact we believe this date will go down in history as the end of the Oil Age. We invite the other oil companies of the world to join us.”

Shell is partnering with Suntech, the world’s largest producer of solar panels for residential, commercial, industrial, and utility applications. Suntech has regional headquarters in China, Switzerland, and the United States, and combined with Shell’s worldwide operations the two are uniquely positioned to harness, monitor and distribute the Sun’s energy.

While details of the joint venture are sketchy, Triple Pundit has learned that Shell will divest its oil drilling and oil exploration operations and convert all of its gas stations to solar and electric power plug-in stations. Suntech will produce solar panels for individual, commercial, regional and national use around the globe, and for Shell’s stations under an exclusive contract. ICBC, the world’s biggest bank by market capitalization, will provide a $1 trillion line of credit for Shell and Suntech to implement their conversion and production plans, which will be phased-in over the next decade.

The three parties will have equal ownership stakes in ShellSunergy.

“Within five years we will offer an IPO on all of the major trading indexes so that every person on the planet can own a piece of the sun,” said Sun-Wat-Sun, ICBC’s managing director. Shareholders will have special privileges and access to the ShellSunergy grid, he explained, in addition to discounts on solar equipment and their solar energy monitoring implants.

“Perhaps now you understand why we are developing one of the largest solar installations in the world on the Tibetan Plateau,” said Ringa Ling, Suntech’s VP of development.

Suntech last month announced the solar project will be located in Chek Kang village in the Sangri County, Shannan Prefecture, Tibet. The solar power plant will be one of the highest on earth at around 4,000 meters above sea level. With target completion by the middle of the 2011, the facility will generate around 20,000MWh of renewable electricity per year to help facilitate sustainable economic development in Tibet.

“This project is just the beginning, it will serve as the prototype for a worldwide network of solar power plants that will provide safe, clean energy to the world’s populace,” she said.

It is often said that until Big Oil and King Coal can find ways to profit from renewable sources, alternative energy will never replace oil and coal. The ShellSunergy venture presents seemingly impossible legal and ethical choices and some tough decisions, but then how legal and ethical is it to continue using oil and coal?

“Today is a brave new world of light,” said A. Prell-Fuel.

writer, editor, reader and general good (ok mostly good, well sometimes good) guy trying to get by

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